Bring on the Rain...

Once upon a time (about two months ago), the sunshine of a warm Sunday afternoon would beckon Pinares teachers out of their humble abodes and into their bathing suits to lie in the grass and read.

Now, after months of drought and water-rationing, a Sunday afternoon downpour brings shouts of joy and turns twenty-somethings into the likes of small children, laughing, shouting, running through the rain, and jumping in puddles.

We don't want to jinx it, but it appears that God may have brought the rainy season a little early this year - and through that, he is rescuing his land and his people.

Yay rain!!!!!!!!

I once heard that the only person who can appreciate the sound of snoring is the widow who cannot sleep because of the silence that now fills her bedroom. I'm starting to think the same is true about the beautiful sound of thunder after months without it.

I'm feeling so content...

I'm sitting here in my bed, investing in my connections with people I love via facebook, email, and blogs. I'm listening to country music and thinking of home. And yet, I'm not filled with empty longing. I will be home soon. I can hold onto that hope with anticipation and patience.

Have I mentioned that God is good? I don't see how non-believers can leave home and spend a long amount of time doing something like this (teaching overseas, working with medical relief aid, digging wells for fresh water, etc.) without knowing and feeling the confidence, hope, and comfort that comes from divine love and sovereignty. We as humans may have some desires within us to help and serve others, even to the extent of sacrificing our own comforts, but I can't imagine doing it without the superbly motivating purpose of serving the Creator of the Universe and helping others to see Him for themselves.

Last night, I went with some teachers to the movies to see The Blindside. For that two hours, I felt like I was home in more ways than one. For starters, I saw the movie in Birmingham, so seeing it again was like going back. Then, as should be obvious, a movie about southern people and SEC football has a certain ability to envelop some of us who feel that those things have almost become a part of our DNA over the years... Finally, it made me think of Vincent. The main character, Michael Oher, reminds me of a student that I taught there.

We got home last night just in time to make it safely inside our apartments and houses before a huge thunderstorm rumbled in... Most of the time, if it rains here, thunder and lightning are not involved, so once again, I was reminded of Alabama. As I read a book and listened to the thunder booming all around me from the safety of my bedroom, I remembered how I once thought storms were so scary and dangerous. Now, as long as I'm inside, I'm more tempted to think they are another aspect of the beauty of the Creator. Yet, maybe they're both, and in that way, perhaps God's power isn't always safe and comfortable, and beauty can be dangerous...

I can't believe it...

I'm bored.

Is this even possible?!?! I feel like today, for the first time in my four years of teaching, I have nothing to do. My grades are finished. My lesson plans are ready. Gradekeeper is up to date. My copies are ordered. My email is checked.

Now what???

Yesterday I stayed busy with decision-making and planning.

I registered for graduate school

Yep. I did it. I am now a UAB Blazer unless the Lord changes things between now and August.

But now... Nada. That will all change on Monday morning when real teaching and assignments begin. By Wednesday, I will probably be sinking in a sea of papers to grade.

Today is the last day of achievement testing. The lazy side of me thinks this is the best week of the year. That part of me likes passing out long, tedious assignments and enjoying the silence as the students remain in their seats staring down at the tasks in front of them.

We have eight more weeks of classes... Just eight!!!

And now I have nothing else to talk about.

I can add blogging to my list of things to do (that I've already done...).

I wish I had a book.

I would like to embrace the grandma-ish life of an elementary school teacher and go to bed at nine every night.

However.

Nine seems to always turn into ten.

It's disappointing.

Today we worked until five. We had parent conferences from 1-5. I've had very few parent conferences up until this point in my career. This year, I've had MORE THAN ENOUGH to make up for the last three years combined. They weren't kidding when they talked about pressure and overinvolvement from the parents.

Although it made for a long a tiring day, I am thankful to say that they all went well. Praise the Lord! Then I ate Shells and Cheese and soaked up some community with 50 people eating birthday cake and ice cream in a small house. This really is a special place... I know I'll miss it.

There may also be some other news to be shared soon, but my mom's been in Indiana all week, and I need to talk to her about it with voices first rather than through an impersonal blog.

But let's just say that debt seems overwhelming. I don't have any right now. But I guess I will eventually.

My favorite time of each day here is at night. I brush my teeth and put on a soft t-shirt (that is, if I haven't been in my pajamas since 3:00!)... I turn on my fan and sound machine to relax to the steady hum. My lamp is on, and my overhead light is off. It's time to journal some prayers, read through/pray through Operation World (praying for Congo tonight...), and read the Scriptures from my Bible reading plan for the year.

This week is Psalms. It's been so refreshing after many hours of Leviticus, Numbers, Joshua, and Judges...

I know it's an extra good night in the Word when I have to get out of bed to grab a notecard to share a verse with someone or when I have to get my laptop to blog... Tonight called for both.

Kirsten and I have struggled together this year. Teaching 5th grade has been hard. She's so much stronger than I could ever be. Sometimes I don't know how she keeps facing her class day after day. As I read about David as he felt watched, targeted, trapped, and judged (and even chased) by his enemies, I thought of our students. I don't want to say that they're our enemies, but sometimes, when they're in full rebellion and attack mode, they act like it. Yet I'm encouraged by verses like this:

"You have kept count of my tossings,
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me."
Psalm 56:8-9

God is for me. And He KNOWS when I cry.

The verse that filled me with the urge to be an obnoxious blogger breaking the "maximum of one post a day" secret code was this:

"Look to the right and see:
there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains for me;
no one cares for my soul."
Psalm 142:4

I know that lots of people here care about me, but they don't know me or care for me like my family does. This whole growing up thing is hard... As I've faced new and different challenges this year, I've longed for the days when I lived with my parents and they took care of me. They cared for my soul, and they also met my physical needs, cared for my emotions, and invested in my developing character. My home was a place of refuge, and I could fully rest because I knew they were protecting me, giving me what I needed, and supporting me.

So tonight as I read that and thought about how thankful I am to have a childhood that doesn't identify on this verse at all, even on a pity-party day when I may think it's telling my current story, I realized that there are lots of children out there who know the feelings associated with this verse. For them, there is no refuge. There is no one caring for their soul - or just caring for their heart after a hard day at school...

I often feel exhausted enough just trying to take care of myself and hold it all together, but remembering this reality reminds me that I want to take care of others. To provide a home that is a place of refuge, where souls and hearts can be cared for.

I think I would really like to foster and/or adopt someday...

Seriously... What in the world happened to my right to title a post?

My emotions are all over the place tonight. I'm tired from school and thankful tomorrow is a half-day, but I'm also thinking that parent conferences can be just as exhausting as dealing with kids. Ooh, that reminds me that I need to work on a few calculations to make sure I can tell some of the parents about the grades their kids have to make to pass. I've never (never in all of my three prior classes) failed someone. Yikes...

I know I've been a little obnoxious with my ever-changing blog design lately... Those of you using Google Reader or something similar have been blessed. And yet, I think I'll change it again. Maybe tonight. These colors looked pretty the other day. Now they look like a 90's beach house or a couch from the set of The Golden Girls. I think it has to do with my desire for control. There once was a time when I would rearrange my bedroom/clean it out hardcore as a way to take some control in a life that felt out of it... Maybe now I'm physically lazy and have traded in the movement of furniture for the exchange of colors and designs in a virtual world...

My students have been pretty good this week. Eduardo has been in an uncharacteristically good mood. I like that, except for the fact that it makes him silly and he refuses to take anything seriously. He's either hot or cold. He's either hating the world and completely resistant to anything we do, or he's constantly goofing off. Apparently he thrives on my laughter. He's silly and goofs off, and if I think it's the wrong time or place, I obviously give him the teacher look. His immediate response is, "Miss! Laugh!" He wants me to think he's funny. I'm just glad he cares.

I wonder if I'll ever be cultured... I wonder if I'll ever be eclectic and read impressive books, sip hot tea, and have a style that's envied. Probably not... Maybe it's once plain, always plain.

Although I'm thinking about making myself a list of 50ish must-read classics as a goal for the next three years or so.

But even if I do, maybe I'll just stick to sweet tea.

Home... home... home... home... home... home...

Family is much more lovable when you miss them.

I don't like confrontation. It's kind of weird because when faced with it, I usually rise to the occasion. But I don't like to initiate it. I would rather avoid it if at all possible.

I had curry tonight for the first time. Ehh. I could eat it and I could do without it.

Okay. Time for grades, blog design, and nightly Bible reading... Where does the night go???

I just pigged out on watermelon. In April. It actually wasn't as good as the ones my mom and I pigged out on in March. You win some, you lose some. This one wasn't a loss. It just wasn't a blow-out using the mercy rule. And with a little salt, it was still too good for self-control.

Yay for living in a country where watermelon grows year-round!

Today we started standardized testing. My kids were incredible. They were patient and hard-working and silent outside the room and quiet inside the room. I was overjoyed to realize once again that I really do have the very best class of the 5th grade.

Four of my girls stayed after school to hang out at my apartment as a reward for good behavior. I took them to the cafeteria and bought them snacks. We attempted to "cook" something, but it was their recipe and something went wrong. It was basically warm, liquid sugar. So of course they still said it was good. I said it was gross. We watched Youtube videos and then I taught them how to play Phase 10.

It was all good until we realized there was some miscommunication about the time for them to be picked up... Let's just say one girl was picked up about 30 minutes late, and another was picked up about an hour and 40 minutes late!

I was just sad for her... That made for a really long day, and I know she was bored while we waited. I found it relaxing in some ways though. It was nice to sit outside and to be still and just talk to someone without being attached to a computer. I like her a lot. She wants to go to Johns Hopkins University and to become a plastic surgeon. I love when kids have big dreams, even when I know it's possible that God will change those dreams before they become reality...

I think I'm getting a little too caught up in counting down to the end. Last night's Esther study reminded us that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength... not those who wait on an event. Only the Lord can sustain us until the end and renew our strength.

I've kind of been struggling with my principal lately. I've hit a streak where I feel like nothing I do is right. I've never been one to make a constant trail of mistakes... I'm not sure if the Lord is trying to use this to work on my humility or something, but I would definitely say that's what's happening. It just kind of stinks to feel watched at all the wrong times...

Okay... It's almost my bed time, and I still need to read some Psalms and a little bit of It's Your First Crush, Charlie Brown. Pablo loaned it to me. He wants me to read it to find out if I really like Peanuts cartoons.

Oh Pablo...