Goodbyes

I said my first round of goodbyes to my students over the course of both Thursday and Friday... On Wednesday, they had been up to their normal antics, making me feel a little crazy and leaving me wanting to detach. However, after some prayer, the Lord helped me to face Thursday with a special motivation to just spend time with them. Their desks were arranged in a U-shape, and they sat there doing "assignments" (aka, busy work) while I just walked all around and talked to them. I played with all of my girls hair and tried to be strong as they pleaded, "Miss, don't go..." My morning with them was very memorable and a great way for me to prepare to let go.
The rest of our day was busy with cleaning out the desks, taking up textbooks, throwing away bags and bags of old papers and workbooks, loads of recess time, and our end-of-the-year party. We basically finished everything on Thursday because some of the students were not returning on Friday. That was the first day of World Cup games, so of course, attendance was lower than normal. hahaha...
For our party, some of the kids and some of the moms collaborated to bring lots of snack food, pizza, drinks, cake, and ice cream. This culture definitely likes to party, so classroom events tend to be a bit extravagant. Luckily, it's not as bad in the older grades, so my weak party-planning skills weren't much of an issue.
I gave out certificates and Candy Bar Awards to all my students, and they colored velvet door hangers that I bought at Hobby Lobby in Houston. They really enjoyed knowing that I had thought of them so much while I was in the States. Then I gave them Fun Dip from my mom, and they were super excited... The first time my mom came, we heard, "Fun Dip? Miss, what is Fun Dip?" and had to explain how to eat it. This time around it was, "Yay!!! Fun Dip!!!"
Thursday afternoon was my first time to really feel as though I might cry. Manuel, one of the best boys in my class with a laid-back and kind spirit, gave me a gift and said, "This is for you. Thanks for teaching me this year," with a big grin on his face. That was the moment when I first fully realized how hard it would be to leave.
Friday was a half-day of school. In fact, some of our elementary teachers made it a dress-up day and wore crazy headbands with bows, butterflies, and flowers on the sides in honor of our fashion-forward students... I didn't really plan anything for my class to do. After all, I sent home all their paper and pencils the day before. We just hung out in the classroom for awhile and they all signed each other's shirts. Then Joseph hooked up an antenna to a tv in his classroom and half of the grade watched the soccer game while the other half hung out in my room talking or playing Apples to Apples. Then we ended the day with a very extended recess.
My girls were especially sentimental all day. They made it very clear that they did not want me to leave, and I was so blessed to be showered in hugs clinging to me all morning. When the time came to walk to the cars and buses, most of my boys seemed disinterested in an emotional goodbye, and I felt the same way towards many of them. However, my girls would not let me go. They cried, and so did I. A few of them seemed to be a little dramatic and just caught up in the girly moment of flowing tears. However, as I hugged sweet Argentina and felt her trembling against me, I cried because I knew I was hurting her by leaving.
I had never thought of it that way before. I was hurting them.
I also struggled to say goodbye to Pablo. He definitely wormed his way into my heart and will probably be unforgettable for the rest of my life. Just the fact that he gave me a hug before he walked to the buses let me know that I meant a lot to him as well. Of course, then in typical class-clown fashion, he broke the tension and made us laugh by quickly turning around and saying, "I want to cry, but I can't. I'm too macho."
So I walked home that day feeling emotionally exhausted, but I'm doing a little better now. I'm already hoping that I can come back a year from now for their sixth grade graduation and to spend some time with them and my friends, either here or traveling.
Many people have asked me if I am so excited and ready for Sunday. In a way, I am but because I was just home, I am not just longing for places or food or anything like that from home. Instead, it's bittersweet. This year and these children have had a tremendous impact on my life, and it's hard to say goodbye.

This picture is blurry, but one of the girls tagged it on Facebook, and it's the only one I have...