Sleepy Rambling

Just six more days, and I'll be back home.

I love that word, and I feel so sad for the people who don't (or feel like they don't) have one...

I can't wait to be back with my friends and my church and most of all - my family. I love my momma more than anyone else on the face of this earth, and I can't wait to talk to her and laugh with her and hug her small frame while never wanting to let go.

And I'm excited to see my daddy again. We're going to have a lunch date... I've grown so fond of that time that we set aside for just the two of us. We usually like each other the most in those moments. :)

Of course, I'm hoping this visit will show a continuation of the strengthening friendship and love that Logan and I share. Our age difference has always been hard, and I'm thankful for those moments when we realize just how precious it is to have a sister...

I'm feeling all kinds of sappy tonight, but thankfully - there's no time to ramble on about those things. I wish I had the time and energy to share all about the crazy Christmas program from last Thursday when I realized that kids are crazy and unreserved because their parents are. I also wish I could share my thoughts and reactions to the Secret Church sermon that we listened to on Friday night called "Angels, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare." Let's just say, it was a good reminder and call to fight the good fight and pray. I also wish I could recount every detail from my breakfast with my Honduran adoptive mom and the White Elephant gift exchange at the elementary faculty Christmas party. Perhaps I would even divulge about the experience of wearing shorts and flip flops to a Christmas party today... :)

But instead, I know that I need to go to bed. This week is likely to be a challenge, and I need as much energy as possible to face whatever lies ahead. On the bright side, I realized recently that these next six days will pass by at the same speed regardless of whether they are good or bad. Unfortunately, as I've been wishing time away and watching it fly lately, I've also realized that the same thing will happen while I am home for two weeks. I know it will disappear much more quickly than I would like.

For now, I'll just revel in the joy and hope that come with anticipation. :)

I'm so excited!

Last night, I was asleep by now.

Not tonight.

I'm wide awake.

I've started making Christmas dates with some of my favorite people, and as long as my mom doesn't kill me for being gone so much while I'm "home," then this is already shaping up to be one of my favorite holidays ever...

Unfortunately, I still have six and a half days of work to get through before any of this can happen, and the last thing I want to do right now is grade the papers in my backpack!

Overall, today was much better than yesterday. Sometimes it seems as though six more months of this will be unbearable and impossible. ("This" being teaching this particular class all day, every day.) However, the video that I watched tonight from my Esther Bible study reminded me to fight the good fight and to depend on God to empower me and to turn it all around.

It (the video) also reminded me of this new strong desire to be teaching the Word... Of course, that's ironic to me because I teach Bible everyday. Lately I've been envisioning what it would be like to teach Sunday school or a Bible study to girls or young women...

But I'm thankful for the voices of wisdom in my life who keep reminding me to enjoy the NOW. So for now, I will proclaim the Word to 22 fifth graders. :)

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...

Today is a day that I'm not going to want to store in the memory books - but how can you forget a day when the PE teacher brings your class back early because they were being so bad?

And how can you forget a day when you cried in the principal's office because you were at your wit's end?

And how can you forget a day when that same principal chewed your class up one side and down the other for 45 minutes while he gave you a free lunch and took their recess?

I'm going to try to start forgetting now. By going to bed. At 8:00.

It's a glamorous life I lead...

Sometimes I wonder, "Are these really my twenties?!?!"

Worn out by lunchtime

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26-27

Today is one of those days when I want to pray, and I know it is the only thing that I can do to keep going, but I don't know what to pray for...

For the last four hours, this classroom has been occupied with students who are bored, tired, and hyper all at the same time.

The elementary spiritual life director came in for a special Bible lesson, and after about five minutes of trying to get them to listen to her, she gathered her things and threatened to just leave.

So what do you pray when that happens?

Can I pray, "God, please shut them up..."?

Haha.

I don't know. But I know He's my only answer...

Just two and a half more hours. I can do this and still have sanity at the end of the day.

And just 12 more days!

For the record...

- Another benefit of living and working in Honduras = not being at church with Alabama fans today... (Sorry friends, but it's true. I used to hate going to church during football season - and yes, I realize that it goes both ways.)

- I miss worshiping in English and am so excited to go to Brook Hills four times while I'm at home!

- I just "spring cleaned" my room in an effort to try to find my external hard drive - to no avail. :(

- I realized this week that I am really going to miss camp.

- I'm excited to see my parents' house and all of the changes that they have been making. I love hearing about their progress.

- I'm currently sitting all alone in my room listening to some of my favorite worship music on itunes with my earphones, and I can't resist the urge to sing - even though my roommates can probably just hear my voice traveling through the door.

- Today was sunny, high 70's, and not a cloud in the sky... But I'm excited to go home to sweaters and scarves.

- I have a real desire to teach a girls' Bible study. When? Where? Who? No clue...

- I was recently informed that a good way to memorize Scripture is to write it on index cards, place the cards in ziploc bags, and hang the bags in the shower. Then instead of reading the shampoo bottle over and over again, you can read the Word. :)

- I have not yet found success, but I still desire to memorize all of Romans 8. So that will probably be the first thing that I hang in the shower...

- I thoroughly miss my family.

- I have two students that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. There are stories that float around this compound of teachers who went home at Christmas and never came back - but I'll be back to keep my word and to spend six more months with two of the greatest kids I've ever met in my life.

- My friend Emily (also from Birmingham and Brook Hills) and I are going to have our own little Secret Church this Friday night.

- Even in Central America, I make a mean sweet tea.

- I still wish I could play the fiddle or the guitar, and yet I'm making no effort to learn either one.

- I get really excited when I think of my baby sister becoming a Montevallo Falcon. :)

- I'm already thinking of my travel plans for Spring Break - and I can't decide between Roatan, Honduras (and the ruins of Copan) or Costa Rica...

- At some point while I'm home, I am supposed to chat with two amazing women about some ways that I may be able to join their team that is putting together some incredible children's ministry curriculum about missions - and I hope and pray that the Lord will equip me to help in some way.

- If I come back here next year, I will most certainly come early for two weeks of language school. And if I don't come back, I would like to continue studying Spanish anyway.

- I'm singing in the faculty choir this Friday night for the Christmas program. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I enjoy it. :) We're singing "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" and "Light of the Stable" by Selah.

- This post is really for my mom who wishes that I would blog every day.

- There's a boy in my world now, and I get to see him three weeks from tomorrow... :)

- God is a great provider. My salary has been cut to a fourth of what it was last year, but He has provided in other ways, and I am actually able to save more this year than ever before.

- "For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6

It really struck a chord...

How often do random magazine or webzine articles bring tears to your eyes because they're telling your story? It just happened to me as I read "Goodbye Guilt."

Wow.

Did I write that in my sleep? No? Oh, so I'm not the only one who has struggled with these thoughts and ideas?

Okay...

Amidst the intense excitement about coming home for Christmas, and the strong possibility of moving back to The States in late June, exists a huge weight of guilt.

Why don't I want to stay here for the rest of my life?

Why do I long for "home" and think of going back there?

Why is my Honduras experience so lacking in discomfort or sacrifice?

Yes. The Sunday School answers resound with promises of God's sovereignty and His good plan for my life...

I don't know what my future holds - but He does.

My mom tried to comfort and reassure me with a statement that even though I may struggle with the guilt of only living here for one year, many people never even dedicate that much. My instant response was that I cannot find solace in constantly comparing myself to others.

But just as quickly as I responded with that statement, I realized that part (or possibly most) of my guilt actually does stem from comparison. Instead of comparing myself to those who don't, I'm thinking of those who do. I'm thinking of my friends here who have already upgraded their one-year contract to a two-year commitment. I'm thinking of all the conversations in which I have heard and discussed that this school and these students need consistency and a community that is dedicated on a more long-term basis.

Guilt or no guilt, I will follow the Lord - even if that means following Him home.

I'm thankful that He has brought me here and that I have six and a half months remaining in this adventure.

I'm thankful that returning to a life in the United States does not mean the end of ministry or missions.

God can use me in Honduras, and He can use me at home.

So now I'm hopeful about my future and seeking His guidance one detail at a time...

Busy Bee...

As expected, the holiday season is upon us (even in tropical Honduras), and that means fewer blog posts. It's ironic though, because in the time when there's more to share - there's less sharing. Haha. Sorry about that.

Time for a rewind... I already posted about my Thanksgiving day. Honduras doesn't actually celebrate Thanksgiving because you know... the Pilgrims didn't settle a colony here or give thanks with these Native Americans. Anyway, no Thanksgiving = no Black Friday. However, a group of about 12-15 of us went back to Valle de los Angeles for some Christmas shopping. I'm flying with Delta two weeks from today, and I'm starting to think I'll have one 50-pound suitcase of things to leave at home after Christmas and another 50-pound suitcase of Christmas gifts for friends and family. I'm so excited... :)

That was also the day of the Iron Bowl, and I got home during halftime to a score that really surprised me. I had been preparing myself for a slaughter. Then I was only able to watch the third quarter because we were leaving again - but I enjoyed seeing my Tigers beating the Tide for a little while...

That evening, Twana, Hannah, Christa, John, and I took the rapidito (smallish bus that costs fifty cents to ride from the mountain into the city) into Tegus and squeezed into a taxi to go stay at the guest house owned and run by World Gospel Mission. Twana's aunt and uncle are missionaries here and part of their job is running this small compound. When they have teams in town doing ministry, they all stay there. However, we had the place all to ourselves! We hung out, played games, baked cookies, watched Fried Green Tomatoes, and slept... It was really nice because it felt like a relaxing getaway, even though we were just in the middle of the city. For those of you who know me really well, you know that I prefer to sleep to the sound of a small tabletop fan that sounds similar to a jet engine. The Lord surprised me with such a huge blessing in a small package when I walked into the room that Twana and I would share, only to see a fan exactly like the one I have at home sitting on the headboard of my bed!

We went to the mall that Saturday afternoon and purchased things for an operation shoebox that our faculty is putting together... It's for a school in the dump. Can you believe that? A school in a dump? It serves 138 children - and we're hoping to bless each and every one of them for Christmas.

That night we played speed Scrabble (seriously, my new favorite game) and enjoyed a pizza dinner with Twana's aunt and uncle before they brought us home.

Last Sunday was election day. Overall, it passed very peacefully. The last president was from the liberal party, and now the pendulum has swung to the other side and the country has elected the candidate from the conservative party. Unfortunately, that news was also followed with claims that he is even more corrupt than the guy he's replacing. Welcome to Honduras...

While Birmingham dealt with high temperatures in the 50's or something like that last Sunday, we were laying out and sweating at Twana's house. :)

Monday was declared a national holiday because of the elections, so we didn't have school. Instead, I went with six other people to a local national park called La Tigre. It's in a cloud forest (somewhat similar to a rain forest) at about 7,500 ft. elevation. We hiked for two and a half hours to a beautiful waterfall... Unfortunately, there's nothing quite like a trail marked "dificultad fuerte" (strong difficulty) to show you just how old and out of shape you are... even when you're just 25. Also, when half of a trail goes steeply downhill on the way to your destination - that means half of your trail will go steeply UPHILL as you try to return to your point of origin... My knees hurt for the next 24 hours!

This school week has been fine. As usual, the kids are getting hyper and excited about the holidays... I still think my favorite moments in the day come during reading class. We're reading Number the Stars together, and they're so sucked into the story. Then the moments when they spread out and read are so quiet and peaceful. :)

It was a busy workweek because progress reports went home yesterday. Many of them are disappointed with their grades. Thankfully, they will have two weeks between now and Christmas and two weeks after to try to improve.

I think my favorite kid-quote of the week was, "Miss... My breath smells. Like cheese." :)

Wednesday night, my care group met at Ben and Joy's apartment for dinner. Their place is so warm and welcoming (unlike mine) and it's also decorated for Christmas. It was so nice to watch them cook together and join together for some good food.

Thursday night was even more of an adventure. I attended a fancy Christmas dinner for parents and teachers at a really nice restaurant called La Cumbre. It's here on the mountain and looks out over the city. It was decorated for Christmas and approximately 120 of us sat around one LONG table. Something about it and the dim lighting felt like medieval times... Or maybe it just reminded me of feasts at Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies. :) It was nice to get all dressed up and to eat a yummy dinner of salad, turkey, ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, and a roll. Unfortunately, Hondurans eat really late. Our dinner started at 7:30 and we didn't get home until 10:30. That was way past my bedtime!

Last night I just relaxed in bed and talked on Skype. Now I'm in for a day of grading papers and watching the SEC championship... And possibly packing to come home! I need to figure out which things I haven't been using here so that I can take them back to Alabama. I'M COMING HOME TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!!! =D

And in closing, here's a cheesy and yet true quote I heard the other night...

"God + Nothing = Everything."

Chew on that for a while... :)