Worn out by lunchtime

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26-27

Today is one of those days when I want to pray, and I know it is the only thing that I can do to keep going, but I don't know what to pray for...

For the last four hours, this classroom has been occupied with students who are bored, tired, and hyper all at the same time.

The elementary spiritual life director came in for a special Bible lesson, and after about five minutes of trying to get them to listen to her, she gathered her things and threatened to just leave.

So what do you pray when that happens?

Can I pray, "God, please shut them up..."?

Haha.

I don't know. But I know He's my only answer...

Just two and a half more hours. I can do this and still have sanity at the end of the day.

And just 12 more days!

For the record...

- Another benefit of living and working in Honduras = not being at church with Alabama fans today... (Sorry friends, but it's true. I used to hate going to church during football season - and yes, I realize that it goes both ways.)

- I miss worshiping in English and am so excited to go to Brook Hills four times while I'm at home!

- I just "spring cleaned" my room in an effort to try to find my external hard drive - to no avail. :(

- I realized this week that I am really going to miss camp.

- I'm excited to see my parents' house and all of the changes that they have been making. I love hearing about their progress.

- I'm currently sitting all alone in my room listening to some of my favorite worship music on itunes with my earphones, and I can't resist the urge to sing - even though my roommates can probably just hear my voice traveling through the door.

- Today was sunny, high 70's, and not a cloud in the sky... But I'm excited to go home to sweaters and scarves.

- I have a real desire to teach a girls' Bible study. When? Where? Who? No clue...

- I was recently informed that a good way to memorize Scripture is to write it on index cards, place the cards in ziploc bags, and hang the bags in the shower. Then instead of reading the shampoo bottle over and over again, you can read the Word. :)

- I have not yet found success, but I still desire to memorize all of Romans 8. So that will probably be the first thing that I hang in the shower...

- I thoroughly miss my family.

- I have two students that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. There are stories that float around this compound of teachers who went home at Christmas and never came back - but I'll be back to keep my word and to spend six more months with two of the greatest kids I've ever met in my life.

- My friend Emily (also from Birmingham and Brook Hills) and I are going to have our own little Secret Church this Friday night.

- Even in Central America, I make a mean sweet tea.

- I still wish I could play the fiddle or the guitar, and yet I'm making no effort to learn either one.

- I get really excited when I think of my baby sister becoming a Montevallo Falcon. :)

- I'm already thinking of my travel plans for Spring Break - and I can't decide between Roatan, Honduras (and the ruins of Copan) or Costa Rica...

- At some point while I'm home, I am supposed to chat with two amazing women about some ways that I may be able to join their team that is putting together some incredible children's ministry curriculum about missions - and I hope and pray that the Lord will equip me to help in some way.

- If I come back here next year, I will most certainly come early for two weeks of language school. And if I don't come back, I would like to continue studying Spanish anyway.

- I'm singing in the faculty choir this Friday night for the Christmas program. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I enjoy it. :) We're singing "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" and "Light of the Stable" by Selah.

- This post is really for my mom who wishes that I would blog every day.

- There's a boy in my world now, and I get to see him three weeks from tomorrow... :)

- God is a great provider. My salary has been cut to a fourth of what it was last year, but He has provided in other ways, and I am actually able to save more this year than ever before.

- "For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6

It really struck a chord...

How often do random magazine or webzine articles bring tears to your eyes because they're telling your story? It just happened to me as I read "Goodbye Guilt."

Wow.

Did I write that in my sleep? No? Oh, so I'm not the only one who has struggled with these thoughts and ideas?

Okay...

Amidst the intense excitement about coming home for Christmas, and the strong possibility of moving back to The States in late June, exists a huge weight of guilt.

Why don't I want to stay here for the rest of my life?

Why do I long for "home" and think of going back there?

Why is my Honduras experience so lacking in discomfort or sacrifice?

Yes. The Sunday School answers resound with promises of God's sovereignty and His good plan for my life...

I don't know what my future holds - but He does.

My mom tried to comfort and reassure me with a statement that even though I may struggle with the guilt of only living here for one year, many people never even dedicate that much. My instant response was that I cannot find solace in constantly comparing myself to others.

But just as quickly as I responded with that statement, I realized that part (or possibly most) of my guilt actually does stem from comparison. Instead of comparing myself to those who don't, I'm thinking of those who do. I'm thinking of my friends here who have already upgraded their one-year contract to a two-year commitment. I'm thinking of all the conversations in which I have heard and discussed that this school and these students need consistency and a community that is dedicated on a more long-term basis.

Guilt or no guilt, I will follow the Lord - even if that means following Him home.

I'm thankful that He has brought me here and that I have six and a half months remaining in this adventure.

I'm thankful that returning to a life in the United States does not mean the end of ministry or missions.

God can use me in Honduras, and He can use me at home.

So now I'm hopeful about my future and seeking His guidance one detail at a time...

Busy Bee...

As expected, the holiday season is upon us (even in tropical Honduras), and that means fewer blog posts. It's ironic though, because in the time when there's more to share - there's less sharing. Haha. Sorry about that.

Time for a rewind... I already posted about my Thanksgiving day. Honduras doesn't actually celebrate Thanksgiving because you know... the Pilgrims didn't settle a colony here or give thanks with these Native Americans. Anyway, no Thanksgiving = no Black Friday. However, a group of about 12-15 of us went back to Valle de los Angeles for some Christmas shopping. I'm flying with Delta two weeks from today, and I'm starting to think I'll have one 50-pound suitcase of things to leave at home after Christmas and another 50-pound suitcase of Christmas gifts for friends and family. I'm so excited... :)

That was also the day of the Iron Bowl, and I got home during halftime to a score that really surprised me. I had been preparing myself for a slaughter. Then I was only able to watch the third quarter because we were leaving again - but I enjoyed seeing my Tigers beating the Tide for a little while...

That evening, Twana, Hannah, Christa, John, and I took the rapidito (smallish bus that costs fifty cents to ride from the mountain into the city) into Tegus and squeezed into a taxi to go stay at the guest house owned and run by World Gospel Mission. Twana's aunt and uncle are missionaries here and part of their job is running this small compound. When they have teams in town doing ministry, they all stay there. However, we had the place all to ourselves! We hung out, played games, baked cookies, watched Fried Green Tomatoes, and slept... It was really nice because it felt like a relaxing getaway, even though we were just in the middle of the city. For those of you who know me really well, you know that I prefer to sleep to the sound of a small tabletop fan that sounds similar to a jet engine. The Lord surprised me with such a huge blessing in a small package when I walked into the room that Twana and I would share, only to see a fan exactly like the one I have at home sitting on the headboard of my bed!

We went to the mall that Saturday afternoon and purchased things for an operation shoebox that our faculty is putting together... It's for a school in the dump. Can you believe that? A school in a dump? It serves 138 children - and we're hoping to bless each and every one of them for Christmas.

That night we played speed Scrabble (seriously, my new favorite game) and enjoyed a pizza dinner with Twana's aunt and uncle before they brought us home.

Last Sunday was election day. Overall, it passed very peacefully. The last president was from the liberal party, and now the pendulum has swung to the other side and the country has elected the candidate from the conservative party. Unfortunately, that news was also followed with claims that he is even more corrupt than the guy he's replacing. Welcome to Honduras...

While Birmingham dealt with high temperatures in the 50's or something like that last Sunday, we were laying out and sweating at Twana's house. :)

Monday was declared a national holiday because of the elections, so we didn't have school. Instead, I went with six other people to a local national park called La Tigre. It's in a cloud forest (somewhat similar to a rain forest) at about 7,500 ft. elevation. We hiked for two and a half hours to a beautiful waterfall... Unfortunately, there's nothing quite like a trail marked "dificultad fuerte" (strong difficulty) to show you just how old and out of shape you are... even when you're just 25. Also, when half of a trail goes steeply downhill on the way to your destination - that means half of your trail will go steeply UPHILL as you try to return to your point of origin... My knees hurt for the next 24 hours!

This school week has been fine. As usual, the kids are getting hyper and excited about the holidays... I still think my favorite moments in the day come during reading class. We're reading Number the Stars together, and they're so sucked into the story. Then the moments when they spread out and read are so quiet and peaceful. :)

It was a busy workweek because progress reports went home yesterday. Many of them are disappointed with their grades. Thankfully, they will have two weeks between now and Christmas and two weeks after to try to improve.

I think my favorite kid-quote of the week was, "Miss... My breath smells. Like cheese." :)

Wednesday night, my care group met at Ben and Joy's apartment for dinner. Their place is so warm and welcoming (unlike mine) and it's also decorated for Christmas. It was so nice to watch them cook together and join together for some good food.

Thursday night was even more of an adventure. I attended a fancy Christmas dinner for parents and teachers at a really nice restaurant called La Cumbre. It's here on the mountain and looks out over the city. It was decorated for Christmas and approximately 120 of us sat around one LONG table. Something about it and the dim lighting felt like medieval times... Or maybe it just reminded me of feasts at Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies. :) It was nice to get all dressed up and to eat a yummy dinner of salad, turkey, ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, and a roll. Unfortunately, Hondurans eat really late. Our dinner started at 7:30 and we didn't get home until 10:30. That was way past my bedtime!

Last night I just relaxed in bed and talked on Skype. Now I'm in for a day of grading papers and watching the SEC championship... And possibly packing to come home! I need to figure out which things I haven't been using here so that I can take them back to Alabama. I'M COMING HOME TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!!! =D

And in closing, here's a cheesy and yet true quote I heard the other night...

"God + Nothing = Everything."

Chew on that for a while... :)

Election Day

It feels as if all of Honduras is holding its breath today...

It's Election Day 2009, and this one's been a long time coming. Mel Zelaya was removed from office June 28th, and they've successfully kept him out for five months. (And he's been holed up in the Brazilian embassy for two of those five!) Many people here hold these elections as the greatest chance for real peace and progress.

But it already comes at a price.

A couple of nights ago, a man was killed as he walked down the street. Some would claim this was random, but he just happened to be carrying a voting box. There are military and police all over to monitor the voting stations. We got an email this morning from the US Embassy warning us against threats being made against US Carriers (Delta, US, Continental, etc.) flying into Tegus today. It also said that both Honduran borders would be closed between Nicaragua and El Salvador. The scary part is, I know of at least one teacher who is scheduled to fly in today from visiting her family for Thanksgiving, and we have four teachers in El Salvador this weekend.

Zelaya's supporters, more affectionately known as "la resistencia" (the resistance) are calling for people to stay home and boycott the election. I've heard from many people who are planning to vote, but many of them are definitely scared and tense about what may happen. They also wonder if their vote will even matter or if this government that has long been known for corruption has already chosen the next leader.

It's definitely a day to pray.

The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;

he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

The counsel of the Lord stands forever,

the plans of his heart to all generations. Psalm 33:10-11

The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord;

he turns it wherever he will. Proverbs 21:1

Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, [and] giving of thanks be made for all men for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. 1 Timothy 2:1-2

My God is faithful...

Thank you to anyone and everyone who happened to see my post from this morning and who took a few moments to lift me up in prayer... My day got better and better as it went on. After the Macy's parade, I spent some time in prayer and working on my Esther Bible study. Then I took a shower, packed a small bag, and headed over to Twana's for a full day and a sleepover. I made stuffing for our potluck Thanksgiving meal (just like Momma' does - baked with cream of chicken soup spread over the top...) and then gorged on ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and rolls followed by seconds and both pumpkin pie and peach cobbler. We had about 20 or 25 people gathered together for our feast, and it was wonderful. We really enjoy our time together like that.

Then we played a card game called Dutch Blitz. We play so many games here that I have never heard of. I feel like some random card games would be wonderful Christmas gifts (hint, hint Mom...) haha.

Then I spent some downtime at Twana's playing on the computer and even watching some "webisodes" of Say Yes to the Dress (definitely a dirty pleasure...) online before going back to the Parson's house to play Speed Scrabble. I'm still not very good at it, but that's probably my favorite of the new games that I've learned since August 8th.

So all in all, it was a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'll still be looking forward to the next time I'm at home for family traditions, even though I feel like I may become the host of those traditions in the near future. I say bring it on... :)

Oh my...

I could use a little extra prayer today. Yes, I am thankful for the details of my life, but it is hard to be here on a day like today. Mom and I shared a difficult moment, complete with tears, on the phone this morning. It's the first Thanksgiving that we haven't been together in my whole life.


It's funny how we handle it differently. I'm grasping for some semblance of the holiday I know and love... I set my alarm to wake me up in time for the Macy's parade (which, by the way, is so weird when you see it for the first time after actually going there and walking down those streets!), and I'm going to a potluck Thanksgiving dinner later today where I will be keeping my fingers crossed for a piece of pumpkin pie... Mom, on the other hand, doesn't want to do the traditional things, partly because I'm not there and it's not the same.


We can do this, right? Just three more weeks until we're together again... We won't even think about how long it will be between January 4th and June 20th.

There's no place like home for the holidays... but "whatever i have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Philippians 4:13 (The Message)


As promised, here are a couple of pictures from yesterday. :)





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