Sometimes I wish there were video cameras following my life...
My old roommate Leslie and I used to say that in moments like when she climbed inside of our new entertainment center from Target so that we could put it together, or the time when we snaked our own dryer vent (from the laundry room all the way out to the patio) to try to get the lent out. Or the raccoon... Whatever was blocking the path and leaving our dryer inefficient.
Today I wished that I could wear glasses that doubled as a camera with a direct-link to my blog.
I wished that when David (Dah-veed) stomped his feet and whined "Why?!?" as if he was six years old when he was told he could not go to the bathroom.
I wished that during social studies when I became queen, and they became my subjects possessing little pieces of construction paper (money) which they used to pay my taxes. In the perfect worlds of Kelly and Katherine, this would involve Starbursts or Skittles instead of paper, and it would last longer than one 20-minute lesson. Yet, after 20 (possibly 15) minutes of desk taxes, paper taxes, social studies book taxes, pencil taxes, talking taxes, touching-another -student taxes, leaning-back-in-your-chair taxes, and falling taxes (Pablo!), they very quickly got to the point. They revolted. They chanted, "Strike! Strike! Strike!" as their fists pumped in unity.
In truth, this was the whole goal of the lesson, and I used it as a hook to introduce the experience of the colonists as they endured The Sugar Act and The Stamp Act and moved toward rebellion and ultimately, The Revolution.
And I enjoyed doing it.
Then, when it was over and some of the kids were walking around collecting the pieces of paper, I was shocked to see how possessive some of them became! They were absolutely reluctant to give up their "money."
As Marco walked to my desk with the bag of "taxes," Marcelo trailed after him to turn in the papers he had been hiding. Both of them were innocently and inconspiculously (yeah right!) followed by Pablo who went to great lengths to look at me, smile and wave, and to keep his "money" hidden behind his back - even as he turned away from my desk and placed it in the bag without looking. By this time, everyone was watching him. He grinned, succeeded in his mission, and gave us all a thumbs up before returning to his seat - making a scene all the way there, of course...
I also wish for cameras almost daily as I have the wonderful opportunity to explain words to second-language learners. For instance, you'll never see the word "slobber" on a vocabulary list or an SAT test, but it just might pop up in a 5th grade chapter book, presenting a wonderful opportunity to expand your vocabulary.
There was also the day when we all learned the difference between a burp and a fart - and that fart can be a noun and a verb. One student burped in the face of another who then exclaimed, "Miss! (Meeeess!) He threw a fart in my face!" For one thing, the literal translation for farting from Spanish to English becomes "throwing a fart" because in Spanish, "fart" is only a noun. On top of that, we had to distinguish that burps and farts come from different places.
I mean, really... Who says the classroom isn't real-world? I'm obviously changing lives every single day here!
Sometimes I feel like my life could be a sitcom.
And Pablo would be the main character.
But his accent is so thick, there would have to be subtitles.
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