After emotional goodbyes on Friday and a weekend full of incredible fellowship and adventure, there is much to share but very little time or energy tonight with which to share it... So here's the promise that I will write an obnoxiously long post sometime in the next few days, primarily after I talk to my mom and actually tell her about these things before she has to read them on the Internet. It's more personal that way...
For now, I will leave you with copies of one email that I received from a parent and a Facebook message that I received from a student. (Good luck reading that one. I've had a year of practice, so I understood most of it. However, I think the main point is very clear!) These messages are a huge part of the reason I did this, and they make it hard to leave, but I am trusting that the Lord has another group of children that He wants me to love and to serve. :)
Dear Miss Benton,
I want to thank you very much for all your kindness and for being really supportive with Juan Carlos. He really got to appreciate all you did for him and also learned to love you as his favorite and best teacher in all his years at Pinares.
He's been crying all afternoon and he says that he's really going to miss you.
Would it be possible to see you at the airport the day you leave? Juan Carlos wants to say good bye one more time. If you don't feel comfortable with that I will understand. Maybe it would then be ok if he keeps contact with you through email?
Once again, thanks a lot for everything. You made a difference in our lives and blessed our son through your teaching.
May God bless you always.
You are so special i WILL miss you allot. I cant stop crying.I realy wish you didnt have to go you are a very special teacher. I cant belivi i didnt saw how much i was going to miss you. You are special you own way and thats very cool. I know you are realy going to miss your BFF. But can you come see us all. I know that that trips are very expensive. But you can cemo 3 or 4 times a year. Can you come to my Graduation of 6 grade. You see how happy I was with miss Zwier i will be happier when you com!! Every girl in th class cry you have people that love you and care. Camila and me were the 2 that cry the most th hug that you gave came till my heart and that make me think alot ive been thinking alot like 2 hours that i love you so much that i realy but so realy i dont want too let you go.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I actually might cry.
I have four hours left with these students, and some of them aren't coming tomorrow at all... Today, one of my best boys gave me a gift to say goodbye and said, "Miss, thanks for being my teacher this year." I was so touched by that sweet moment, and I realized I might actually cry tomorrow when I say goodbye to everyone, especially to some of the best girls a teacher could ever have in a class.
We'll see how it goes.
Then the weekend adventure begins at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon. Lake Yojoa/waterfall, here we come!
We'll see how it goes.
Then the weekend adventure begins at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon. Lake Yojoa/waterfall, here we come!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
No Me Gusta "America's Got Talent"
Because I know that God is in control, I know it's not surprising or ironic, but I came home after Bible study last night and found both an email and a voicemail from a principal interested in interviewing me... In fact, I knew this man 10-15 years ago when he taught at Locust Fork, so I still say it's all in who you know.
And now I have an interview on Monday, May 21st at 2:00.
I'm thankful that I have two weeks to prepare and to form my list of questions as well.
The school is in an area of Birmingham that I'm unfamiliar with, and it is part of the Jefferson County School System. After working in Shelby County and simply assuming I would return there, this opportunity has caught me off guard a bit.
However, I remember when I received a voicemail asking me to come interview for the job at Vincent during the summer of 2007. Megan and I were laying out at the pool at our apartment, and she basically had to convince me that I should call them back. I had never heard of the school and had very little interest in moving my life so far out in that direction. Yet, I know God wanted me there all along. Perhaps this could work in the same way... I guess time will tell.
It feels nice to be wanted, and I like the idea of being in the Birmingham area for friends and my church while actually heading back a little closer to my family.
After today, I feel as though my fifth grade experience has been made complete. Why? Because after all these months, we finally broke out the paint. The strong and distinct odor of tempera paint filled my classroom this afternoon as my students took turns painting cereal boxes (and apparently their clothes) for a reading project. They are actually turning these boxes into a creative form of a book report, and I'm excited to see how they turn out. If nothing else, I think they enjoyed doing a little work for once - or maybe they just didn't realize it was work.
I guess due in part to the tropical storm and the massive amounts of rain that have fallen in Honduras lately, the flying insect population seems to have multiplied exponentially. We are swatting flies while we teach, and many of us are walking around with bug bites dotting our arms and legs. I am tempted to start applying a coat of bug spray as a part of my daily routine: deoderant, brush teeth, bug spray... I also know of teachers who have begun to carry anti-itch cream with them at all times. Welcome to Honduras. :)
Tomorrow is Kirsten's (my teammate in 5th grade) last day of teaching... I am so proud of her for hanging in there through what I would call one of the worst first years of teaching imaginable. Her class has shown a lot of defiance, disrespect, and rudeness all year, and I am very impressed by her strength and courage as she has not given up.
I have two and a half teaching days left...
Ready or not, here they come!
This weekend is going to be extremely full as a group of us travel to a lake a few hours away to stay in a hotel and explore and even visit some waterfall. I am very excited to have one last adventure with Twana before she leaves the country on Sunday. Perhaps I'll come back with one last set of crazy pictures to document this journey.
The infamous Pablo is having another (and supposedly the final) surgery on his ear next week. Then he says he'll spend his summer sitting around because of the recovery. I imagine that could mean lots of facebook messages from him to "the Miss", but I told him it sounded to me like the perfect opportunity for some intense math tutoring! :)
As of right now, and it should not change, all of my students are passing. I'm very surprised by this, especially in the case of one kid in particular. It's hard to know that he wasn't ready for 4th or 5th grades, and that there is no way he's ready for 6th grade, but with the help of his parents on all homework, and with some school survival skills and test-taking strategies, he has once again squeaked by. I just think it's unfortunate when parents are blinded by pride to think that their son must continue on with his class when he could really benefit from a year of maturity and review...
A year under the Honduran sun have brought out more freckles than I ever thought possible. Perhaps, after this year, it is time to become a dainty southern belle who constantly seeks shade.
Time to read Proverbs (our latest endeavor in the Bible reading plan) and hopefully go to sleep. I think I've been sleepy for a couple of weeks now. I'm not sure that I'll ever catch up. :)
And now I have an interview on Monday, May 21st at 2:00.
I'm thankful that I have two weeks to prepare and to form my list of questions as well.
The school is in an area of Birmingham that I'm unfamiliar with, and it is part of the Jefferson County School System. After working in Shelby County and simply assuming I would return there, this opportunity has caught me off guard a bit.
However, I remember when I received a voicemail asking me to come interview for the job at Vincent during the summer of 2007. Megan and I were laying out at the pool at our apartment, and she basically had to convince me that I should call them back. I had never heard of the school and had very little interest in moving my life so far out in that direction. Yet, I know God wanted me there all along. Perhaps this could work in the same way... I guess time will tell.
It feels nice to be wanted, and I like the idea of being in the Birmingham area for friends and my church while actually heading back a little closer to my family.
After today, I feel as though my fifth grade experience has been made complete. Why? Because after all these months, we finally broke out the paint. The strong and distinct odor of tempera paint filled my classroom this afternoon as my students took turns painting cereal boxes (and apparently their clothes) for a reading project. They are actually turning these boxes into a creative form of a book report, and I'm excited to see how they turn out. If nothing else, I think they enjoyed doing a little work for once - or maybe they just didn't realize it was work.
I guess due in part to the tropical storm and the massive amounts of rain that have fallen in Honduras lately, the flying insect population seems to have multiplied exponentially. We are swatting flies while we teach, and many of us are walking around with bug bites dotting our arms and legs. I am tempted to start applying a coat of bug spray as a part of my daily routine: deoderant, brush teeth, bug spray... I also know of teachers who have begun to carry anti-itch cream with them at all times. Welcome to Honduras. :)
Tomorrow is Kirsten's (my teammate in 5th grade) last day of teaching... I am so proud of her for hanging in there through what I would call one of the worst first years of teaching imaginable. Her class has shown a lot of defiance, disrespect, and rudeness all year, and I am very impressed by her strength and courage as she has not given up.
I have two and a half teaching days left...
Ready or not, here they come!
This weekend is going to be extremely full as a group of us travel to a lake a few hours away to stay in a hotel and explore and even visit some waterfall. I am very excited to have one last adventure with Twana before she leaves the country on Sunday. Perhaps I'll come back with one last set of crazy pictures to document this journey.
The infamous Pablo is having another (and supposedly the final) surgery on his ear next week. Then he says he'll spend his summer sitting around because of the recovery. I imagine that could mean lots of facebook messages from him to "the Miss", but I told him it sounded to me like the perfect opportunity for some intense math tutoring! :)
As of right now, and it should not change, all of my students are passing. I'm very surprised by this, especially in the case of one kid in particular. It's hard to know that he wasn't ready for 4th or 5th grades, and that there is no way he's ready for 6th grade, but with the help of his parents on all homework, and with some school survival skills and test-taking strategies, he has once again squeaked by. I just think it's unfortunate when parents are blinded by pride to think that their son must continue on with his class when he could really benefit from a year of maturity and review...
A year under the Honduran sun have brought out more freckles than I ever thought possible. Perhaps, after this year, it is time to become a dainty southern belle who constantly seeks shade.
Time to read Proverbs (our latest endeavor in the Bible reading plan) and hopefully go to sleep. I think I've been sleepy for a couple of weeks now. I'm not sure that I'll ever catch up. :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Pressure and Panic
Today was okay... Actually, I would have called it good until the very end of the day when three of my most challenging students really pushed my buttons. I miss students who listen and follow directions. I miss students who are courteous, respectful, and kind. Sometimes I am tempted to think that students like that don't really exist and that all teaching is like this, but I know it's not true! It's just easy to see your immediate circumstances as universal.
I'm starting to panic about a job for next year. I keep hearing of other teachers here who are interviewing on Skype and uploading videos of their teaching onto YouTube and getting jobs already.
It's just ironic because for quite a few months of this year, I wanted to escape from teaching. Now, it's all I want to do. God has helped me to see the tremendous opportunity held by a teacher to invest in a community. In the elementary school setting, you are able to not only invest in students, but also to invest in their siblings and parents over the years as you watch their families grow and change. This year, I have learned a lot about patience, love, and faith. I hope that I am given a chance to show and prove my growth...
So now that I am really dreaming of spending my summer setting up a classroom and preparing for the next step, I'm afraid that such a classroom doesn't even exist in my future.
It's hard because so much of it is who you know, and when you've left the country, you don't really know anyone anymore - even the people you thought you knew before...
And I know that I should be strong and courageous to know that my God is with me, He called me here, and He will lead me in the future as well. I should trust Him enough to know that He didn't just call me here for a year of hardship with the intent to cut me off from my career in the end. I guess faith is just easier said than done...
I'm starting to panic about a job for next year. I keep hearing of other teachers here who are interviewing on Skype and uploading videos of their teaching onto YouTube and getting jobs already.
It's just ironic because for quite a few months of this year, I wanted to escape from teaching. Now, it's all I want to do. God has helped me to see the tremendous opportunity held by a teacher to invest in a community. In the elementary school setting, you are able to not only invest in students, but also to invest in their siblings and parents over the years as you watch their families grow and change. This year, I have learned a lot about patience, love, and faith. I hope that I am given a chance to show and prove my growth...
So now that I am really dreaming of spending my summer setting up a classroom and preparing for the next step, I'm afraid that such a classroom doesn't even exist in my future.
It's hard because so much of it is who you know, and when you've left the country, you don't really know anyone anymore - even the people you thought you knew before...
And I know that I should be strong and courageous to know that my God is with me, He called me here, and He will lead me in the future as well. I should trust Him enough to know that He didn't just call me here for a year of hardship with the intent to cut me off from my career in the end. I guess faith is just easier said than done...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sleep is for the weak.
I am pretty sure that I have spent about 30 cumulative minutes awake in my apartment since I flew in on Thursday... That may be a bit of an under-exaggeration, but I definitely have not been sitting around playing online or even grading the stack of papers that calls my name. I guess that we're starting to feel the urgency of the clock that is ticking toward the end of our time here, and so we have hit the ground running with errands and playing and soaking up community.
My head has hurt all day, probably due to the stress that I feel about the work to be done and the lack of time to do it. Last week in Houston was phenominal, but it was extra-hard to jump back into the routine, having lost a few days, in an attempt to catch up on end-of-the-year tasks like awards, grades, inventories, etc. Of course, in the midst of all that, I still have lesson plans waiting to be executed - and my mind feels completely checked out. I have no idea what the next week holds or how I will handle it instructionally, but read or not, here it comes...
Of course, I could have and probably should have spent a few hours in my classroom this afternoon to review the lesson plans that I wrote about three weeks ago and to try to conquer this grading... Instead, I went with a group of girls to see Prince of Persia. Yep. A group of girls. And we saw one of the most violent movies that I've watched in a long time... These Pinares teachers are anything but typical. :)
And now, to tackle my to-do list of unpacking, cleaning, and grading. Who needs sleep anyway???
My head has hurt all day, probably due to the stress that I feel about the work to be done and the lack of time to do it. Last week in Houston was phenominal, but it was extra-hard to jump back into the routine, having lost a few days, in an attempt to catch up on end-of-the-year tasks like awards, grades, inventories, etc. Of course, in the midst of all that, I still have lesson plans waiting to be executed - and my mind feels completely checked out. I have no idea what the next week holds or how I will handle it instructionally, but read or not, here it comes...
Of course, I could have and probably should have spent a few hours in my classroom this afternoon to review the lesson plans that I wrote about three weeks ago and to try to conquer this grading... Instead, I went with a group of girls to see Prince of Persia. Yep. A group of girls. And we saw one of the most violent movies that I've watched in a long time... These Pinares teachers are anything but typical. :)
And now, to tackle my to-do list of unpacking, cleaning, and grading. Who needs sleep anyway???
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Here we go...
Welcome back to Honduras where your home and your things all have a familiar smell that bears a close resemblance to the musty smell of a thrift store...
Can I just say I had so much more PEACE coming back here today than when Jera dropped me off at the airport Sunday morning for my first attempt at returning?!?! Sunday brought back the reluctance and almost dread that has become so familiar when entering an airport. Today, I was ready.
I can do this.
In fact, I was reminded today as I read through my prayer journal from the last 7 months, that I know that I can do this because I can look back and see that I have done this... I definitely have not done it on my own, and my prayers have included many desperate cries for help - but my God is faithful and He brings us through trials even when we're not sure we can make it...
Mom - if you read this, I tried calling twice... Now I am going to see Twana, to eat dinner at her house, and to care group. I'll try to call before bed, but it may be tomorrow before we can talk...
Can I just say I had so much more PEACE coming back here today than when Jera dropped me off at the airport Sunday morning for my first attempt at returning?!?! Sunday brought back the reluctance and almost dread that has become so familiar when entering an airport. Today, I was ready.
I can do this.
In fact, I was reminded today as I read through my prayer journal from the last 7 months, that I know that I can do this because I can look back and see that I have done this... I definitely have not done it on my own, and my prayers have included many desperate cries for help - but my God is faithful and He brings us through trials even when we're not sure we can make it...
Mom - if you read this, I tried calling twice... Now I am going to see Twana, to eat dinner at her house, and to care group. I'll try to call before bed, but it may be tomorrow before we can talk...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I'm in love.
I'm in love with a precious one-year-old little girl named Rachel. :)
And I love that she loves me!
I love that I've only seen her once before, when she was about 2 or 3 months old and all she did was coo and stare at the ceiling fan and spit up, and yet I walked into the door of her house on Saturday night and she jumped around and squealed with excited delight... I love that she is silly with me and brings me her favorite toys and smiles when I enter the room. I love that she loves for me to play with her and to hold her and to read to her... I love that she gets excited and turns to me to tell me all about it in sentences that sound like, "Gob gob GOB gob!!!"
Sunday wasn't my favorite day ever, but I liked the way it turned out, so I would say it was worth it. I couldn't believe my reluctance to go back to Honduras when Jera dropped me off at the airport Sunday morning. I was returning for only three weeks, and yet I still didn't want to go. Because of the weather forecasts that I had heard about Tropical Storm Agatha, I honestly hoped I wouldn't have to go back yet, and I didn't believe it would happen until they made me get on the plane. However, just because you get on a plane and fly to a country doesn't mean you're really going there...
Agatha hit Honduras on Sunday, and apparently it rained in the Tegucigalpa area all day. My plane ended up flying into San Pedro Sula and we sat in the plane on the runway for about two hours while Continental decided what to do. Then I was given the option to get off the plane and try to find a bus to Tegus, although we were also being told that roads were out and buses were not running, or I could stay on the plane and fly back to Houston... I felt like my choice was obvious, especially considering my parents' opinions about my life in that crazy country.
So now I've been playing stateside while school has been cancelled. Apparently school will resume tomorrow, but I'll be missing at least two more days.
Ehh... Whatever. It's a hard-knock life.
If only answers didn't lead to more questions...
And I love that she loves me!
I love that I've only seen her once before, when she was about 2 or 3 months old and all she did was coo and stare at the ceiling fan and spit up, and yet I walked into the door of her house on Saturday night and she jumped around and squealed with excited delight... I love that she is silly with me and brings me her favorite toys and smiles when I enter the room. I love that she loves for me to play with her and to hold her and to read to her... I love that she gets excited and turns to me to tell me all about it in sentences that sound like, "Gob gob GOB gob!!!"
Sunday wasn't my favorite day ever, but I liked the way it turned out, so I would say it was worth it. I couldn't believe my reluctance to go back to Honduras when Jera dropped me off at the airport Sunday morning. I was returning for only three weeks, and yet I still didn't want to go. Because of the weather forecasts that I had heard about Tropical Storm Agatha, I honestly hoped I wouldn't have to go back yet, and I didn't believe it would happen until they made me get on the plane. However, just because you get on a plane and fly to a country doesn't mean you're really going there...
Agatha hit Honduras on Sunday, and apparently it rained in the Tegucigalpa area all day. My plane ended up flying into San Pedro Sula and we sat in the plane on the runway for about two hours while Continental decided what to do. Then I was given the option to get off the plane and try to find a bus to Tegus, although we were also being told that roads were out and buses were not running, or I could stay on the plane and fly back to Houston... I felt like my choice was obvious, especially considering my parents' opinions about my life in that crazy country.
So now I've been playing stateside while school has been cancelled. Apparently school will resume tomorrow, but I'll be missing at least two more days.
Ehh... Whatever. It's a hard-knock life.
If only answers didn't lead to more questions...
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