Someone please remind me that a "fixer-upper" is NOT a good idea! Remind me that although old houses are full of history and charm, they are also full of imperfections and frustration.
Today was a full-on work day at the Benton household, and that made for four very edgy workers. I'm starting to gain a better understanding of all the things I've been hearing about over the last few months. Honestly, I'm starting to think the biggest frustration isn't the old house with crooked corners, unlevel floors, and oddly designed rooms. It isn't even installers or builders or painters who do poor work. (Those are definitely problems, but maybe not the biggest ones.) Instead, it's all about the different opinions residing under this roof. God did not design any of us with gifts of mercy or encouragement or even laid-back and helpful spirits. Instead, as the Benton, Vandiver, Newman, and Wilkinson bloods run through our veins, we all become VERY strong-willed and opinionated - especially during tense and stressful times.
Oh yeah. And those four opinions often point in four different directions.
So instead of coming home to help and ease the tension, I've basically just thrown another strong set of opinions into the mix.
Me? Bossy??? Controlling?!?!
Never!
So in that aspect (and possibly only that aspect, or maybe that one and just a few more) I may be happy to board that plane in about a week.
I can't believe I've already been here for a week. I feel like I just got here... (This is me - trying not to cry.)
Of course, I know that in that other country that I claim to love, there are some ten and eleven year olds who I am proud to know. Pablo must be very bored at home over the break. He's been sending me funny messages and posting silly things on Facebook. As much as that kid drives me crazy when I feel like he's distracting from my goals and plans (see? controlling...) - I love him and think he's a great one.
Grad school has really been on my mind in the last few days. I'm hesitant to share or make grand statements about the future, but I'm still considering some applications for next year.
It's funny because I feel like God has really humbled me over the years when it comes to speaking about plans for the future.
Sidenote: My mom just walked through and said, "What are you doing?"
I told her that I am blogging.
Her reply: "On the Honduran Happenings? You're not in Honduras. You can't happen. Don't you know?"
Haha... :)
Anyway, as I was saying... First of all, I have pride issues and I LOVE to be right. Second of all, I've been wrong A LOT. So now I am filled with hesitation when it comes to making predictions and even decisions regarding plans.
All I know is that there already IS a plan. It's not uncertain or unknown. It's usually pieced together just a little at a time for me to see, but I like knowing that God knows EXACTLY what He's doing...
As for tomorrow, I will gather with my faith family for coorporate worship, enjoy a little more time with precious friends that I love dearly, and hopefully be a bit more helpful than contrary on the home front...
After all...
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV)
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