Change

I think it's possible that when we grow up in large, comfortable churches in the United States and God opens our eyes to His command to go to the nations - we think that life "on mission" in a foreign country will cause us die to ourselves in a new way... It seems obvious that moving to a third-world country will break us from our materialism and selfishness - as if, all of a sudden, we will only be burdened for the Kingdom and not the things of self.

But for some of us, this step in faith leads us to a large city full of commercialism. It leads to a life that is fenced-in, keeping North Americans bundled together in their old ways and habits. It leads to life that looks a lot like the life left behind.

Many people have said (and continue to say), "Jamey, you are going to be such a different woman when you return."

But then I realize - if I just continue to live and teach and love (or not love) in the same way that I did at home, I will return just as I came.

It makes me think of two of my friends, Tiffany and Meredith, who spent about six months in Africa last fall... I remember reading updates from them that described how they would sit on the rooftop looking out over the city, hearing the Muslim calls to prayer, feeling burdened for their mission field and praying fervently for the salvation of the Lord for the people around them who were physically hurting and spiritually deceived.

I didn't come here to live my North American life.

Hillsong sings a song called "Hosanna" that says,

"Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause

As I go from earth into eternity..."

I want my heart to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirit that my heart breaks for Honduras just like His does... I want to see the desperation and urgency of their spiritual need as He does. I want my prayer life to change. I'm tired of the focus on myself and my concerns...

My students are working a little bit at a time to memorize the passage in Ephesians 6 that talks about the armor of God. Before telling us about the pieces of armor and their purposes, Paul first establishes the explanation of why they are essential. He tells us that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

I want to be radically equipped to fight this battle for my students, their families, and the people of Honduras - and I am desperate for this to be a permanent change in me so that my life will be lived in such devotion to the Kingdom regardless of where I am...